Dear fellow drivers,

If you tailgate me, I will hit the brakes. Not hard enough for us to crash, but just enough for you to back off. Don't look surprised when this happens.

If you then drive on the wrong side of the road to overtake me, I will beep at you.

I will then laugh when you find yourself still not going any faster, because there are still cars in front of you who are doing the exact same speed that I was.

Also, if you are turning 90 degrees onto the road which I'm driving along, please do not stop with your bonnet halfway in my lane. It's a bit of a problem when you pull out in front of me and I don't have time to brake, while there is also a woman happily driving in my blind spot and preventing me from changing lanes so that I could swerve to avoid you.

Please drive carefully.

Dear Tech Support,

Please do not make your replies to requests for support look like automatic responses. If the first paragraph looks like a "Your call is important to us, please hold", I won't bother to scroll down any further.

So if you have important questions or advice for me which you have put at the bottom of the email, I will never see them! Put your important stuff at the top of the reply. There's no reason not to.