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Repost from April 2009
Nov. 29th, 2010 03:38 pmI just felt the need to put this up again.
I've been thinking a lot about the qualities I value in my friends, and decided to post them up here.
A friend is not a sycophant.
Many people don't seem to know the difference between being supportive and pandering. They are not the same. A friend can keep you from crashing while at the same time slamming you straight back to reality. One of my closest friends has done this for me at least once and I'm eternally grateful to him.
Friends don't have to agree on everything.
I've had some of the most lively arguments with people and then in the next breath went back to cheery joking around and having fun. We're able to do this because the friendship is strong enough to withstand even the most polar disagreements. We know that, just because we disagree so passionately on one subject doesn't mean that we can't agree on other things or get along in other ways.
You feel safe with your friends.
Feeling safe around someone doesn't come from them agreeing with everything you say and always telling you that you're right. It comes from knowing that they want and will do what's best for you, even when they tell you that you're wrong about something.
Your friends help you to grow as a person.
Tied to all the above points. A true friend is someone that can make you look at yourself and see what's really there, and what you could be. They will also help you become everything that you could be. This may involve confronting some truths about yourself and the way you think, but it will ultimately be to your benefit.
I have a lot of people around me that I admire a great deal because they fit at least one of the criteria above. The people I value most are those who will push me to be the best that I can be, and point out where I can improve. They are people I can learn from. I have the utmost respect for these people and value them more highly than I can possibly express. You guys know who you are.
I've been thinking a lot about the qualities I value in my friends, and decided to post them up here.
A friend is not a sycophant.
Many people don't seem to know the difference between being supportive and pandering. They are not the same. A friend can keep you from crashing while at the same time slamming you straight back to reality. One of my closest friends has done this for me at least once and I'm eternally grateful to him.
Friends don't have to agree on everything.
I've had some of the most lively arguments with people and then in the next breath went back to cheery joking around and having fun. We're able to do this because the friendship is strong enough to withstand even the most polar disagreements. We know that, just because we disagree so passionately on one subject doesn't mean that we can't agree on other things or get along in other ways.
You feel safe with your friends.
Feeling safe around someone doesn't come from them agreeing with everything you say and always telling you that you're right. It comes from knowing that they want and will do what's best for you, even when they tell you that you're wrong about something.
Your friends help you to grow as a person.
Tied to all the above points. A true friend is someone that can make you look at yourself and see what's really there, and what you could be. They will also help you become everything that you could be. This may involve confronting some truths about yourself and the way you think, but it will ultimately be to your benefit.
I have a lot of people around me that I admire a great deal because they fit at least one of the criteria above. The people I value most are those who will push me to be the best that I can be, and point out where I can improve. They are people I can learn from. I have the utmost respect for these people and value them more highly than I can possibly express. You guys know who you are.
