Everyone has methods that work best for them. I admit that with on-line methods the ability to stretch a conversation over time helps with dissipating emotions and clarifying thoughts (and even words- right now I checked the definition of 'expansive').

One thing I do a lot is internally practice what I might say (like some dag in a movie) if the chance arises. Have done this a lot recently because two young friends (nobody you know) have ended a relationship and I feel I have 'been there done that' more than they have and want to offer my (supposedly) worldly perspective.

I have talked with the more expansive of the two but the more reserved one may well never discuss it with me. Which has left me a bit deflated simply because I now have this need to say these things which has nothing to do with what they may need.

I suppose what I am slowly accepting is that the majority of things I think will never escape the confines of my skull because there is never sufficient time (but that is another topic).